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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204728">I'll Get Through The Night (And I'll Begin Again)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/electribunny/pseuds/electribunny'>electribunny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fireworks That Went Off Too Soon [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Character, Festival Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury, no beta we die like men, the character death is pretty brief + he respawns but i figured it was worth mentioning</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:08:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,867</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27204728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/electribunny/pseuds/electribunny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was quiet. He felt safe. He held the moment close, allowing himself to enjoy the serenity. He knew he’d have to come back eventually, and help his friends. Tommy probably did something incredibly stupid on his behalf. He had some things in Manburg that he wanted to go grab as well, if they survived Wilbur’s explosion. But he let himself have a moment. He thought he deserved it, after everything he’d been through. </p><p>---</p><p>A story of a public execution, a traumatic injury, and learning to adjust to a new way of life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fireworks That Went Off Too Soon [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>355</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Get Through The Night (And I'll Begin Again)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wow wow wow! it's been a hot minute since i've written fic in general, not to mention a minecraft fic. But I saw this idea from a couple of anons that tumblr user ItsFundy got and the gears were just turning. I wrote this all in one sitting and it's really late at night but i wanna post this now so it isn't beta read haha. so if u see any mistakes, hmu and ill go in and fix them!</p><p>the title is from "nothing changes" by PUP (they're my fav band btw fun fact)</p><p>anyway, i think that's all I have to say! make sure to heed the tags, as it it a little gory in the beginning. enjoy the fic!</p><p>tumblr (main): neon-soap<br/>mineblr: vanilla-minecraft</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>His feet were frozen in his brand new dress shoes. His hands anxiously wandered from his pockets to his tie and back to the yellow concrete that surrounded him. He snapped his gaze from Quackity, to Schlatt, to Techno. He looked to the crowd. He stepped further into the box. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.” Tubbo muttered under his breath. How could he have been so stupid? He thought he was being careful, but apparently not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I decorated for and planned out my own public execution. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought, and a new wave of anxiety-induced nausea hit him. He looked at Schlatt again, feeling rather betrayed. He looked up toward Tommy, who tried to smile comfortingly at him. It didn’t work. He looked about as scared as Tubbo felt. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His communicator beeped in his pocket. He glanced to make sure no one was looking at him, and fished it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>WilburSoot: He’s on our side. He won’t hurt you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo_: Oh thank god. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slid his communicator away and stood up a little straighter. He blinked the tears from his eyes. Wilbur wouldn’t lie to him. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He won't hurt you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tubbo wore the thought like a security blanket. Techno wouldn’t hurt him. He’d get out and run away with him and Tommy and Will would blow up his home but it would be alright because he’d be safe and happy with the people who mattered to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He won’t hurt you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tubbo...I’m sorry. The peer pressure.” He made eye contact with Techno. Tubbo didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying over his own surprised yell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?!” He shouted. In his peripherals, Quackity and Schlatt both slid earmuffs over their ears. Techno followed suit. Before he could react, there was a sharp pain in his chest, and a loud boom. His back slammed against the wall and his ears were ringing. He curled up into a ball, listening to the muffled screams of his friends while his limbs began to go numb. He shook as he let the feeling of death envelop him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat up in the bed, wincing from pain as his body started up again. Respawning was never any fun, but some deaths were worse than others. Tubbo had never experienced death by firework before, but he concluded it was the worst by far. His chest ached where the rocket hit, and the wound branched out to his arms and face. He was lucky that the respawn process had at least sealed it shut, but it still hurt like hell. He shrugged off his suit jacket and shirt, both of which were too torn up to be of any use to him. After throwing them onto the grass, he mustered up enough energy to swing his feet off of the bed. He toed off his shoes and socks, and swung his feet, enjoying how the grass felt. He sighed and closed his eyes, taking a second to enjoy the warm sun on his skin and the fresh air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was quiet. He felt safe. He held the moment close, allowing himself to enjoy the serenity. He knew he’d have to come back eventually, and help his friends. Tommy probably did something incredibly stupid on his behalf. He had some things in Manburg that he wanted to go grab as well, if they survived Wilbur’s explosion. But he let himself have a moment. He thought he deserved it, after everything he’d been through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, he grabbed his communicator out of his pocket. He knew Tommy probably wouldn’t answer in a crisis, but he wanted to make sure he was okay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had messages. He sat there, confused. He always heard his communicator go off, even in the loudest moments. And it was so quiet where he was. Why didn’t he hear it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But a broken communicator was the least of his worries. He could get the sound fixed later. He answered the messages asking him to go to Pogtopia and stood up. He winced a little at the pain, but grabbed a new shirt from his inventory, and slowly buttoned it up. He slid his shoes back on and began his walk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something was off, but he couldn’t quite place it. So he took the feeling of being at peace with him as he walked through the forest. Bees were buzzing, the flowers were beautiful. The sun was shining on his back and it was quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked into Pogtopia, still feeling safe and calm. He wandered around a little, but couldn’t find the group. Giving up, he opened his messages with Tommy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Tubbo, are you still coming? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Tubbo?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Tubbo, why aren’t you answering my messages, is everything okay? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Your location is off, where are you? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Oh I see you, nvm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Hellooooo?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: I can literally hear ur communicator going off why are you ignoring me? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: Behind you, Big Man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He skimmed the messages, grateful that Tommy had shown him how to put the dyslexic font on the device. Seeing the last one, he whipped his head around, and was met with the sight of Tommy, Wilbur, Techno, and Niki all staring back at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy’s lips moved. Then Wilburs. Tommy’s again. Niki’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guys I...I can’t hear you.” Tubbo said. He was scared again. He knew they were talking, why couldn’t he hear what they were saying? Why was it so quiet? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy ran toward him. He let himself be pulled into a hug. He felt Tommy’s vocal cords move, but once again no sound accompanied it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know!” He sobbed into Tommy’s chest. “I don’t know what you're saying. I can’t hear you!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy pulled away then and turned to Techno. Tubbo guessed that he was yelling. He didn’t want Tommy to be so upset. He reached toward the other boy’s shirt sleeve and pulled. Tommy hesitated. He turned toward Tubbo again and said something. At Tubbo’s face of confusion, he simply sighed and smiled at him, reaching out to give his hand a comforting squeeze, before turning back to Techno. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wilbur had joined in on the yelling then, looking crazed. Tubbo took a step back, not wanting to get pulled into an argument he couldn’t even hear. He felt a presence at his side, and turned to see Niki standing next to him. She too gave his hand a comforting squeeze, before leading him away from the fight, sitting them down on the floor. Niki looked scared. He felt bad, this is the first time she had seen Wilbur in months and it wasn’t the same Will she knew. He grabbed his communicator. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo_: I’m sorry about Wilbur. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nihachu: Is he okay? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo_: No. I don’t think so. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Niki looked up at him then. He could see the tears bubbling up in her eyes. He reached out and rubbed her back. He didn’t know how else to comfort her. Tommy and Techno were still fighting. He was a little glad he couldn’t hear it. He looked down at the stone floor until Niki shot up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy and Techno were both fully prepared to brawl. Tubbo sighed. This was a fight Tommy wouldn’t win. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tommy!” He yelled out. “You don’t need to do this! I forgive him!” Tommy hesitated for a second, staring at him wide-eyed. Then Wilbur said something, and his face hardened again. Tommy took a step back, and threw a punch toward Techno. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo had no idea what was happening. He followed the group, and he knew there was a lot of fighting and negative emotions, but he was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so confused. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He told himself he’d ask Tommy once he didn’t look so distressed, but Techno and Wilbur had finally left, and he felt much more at peace with just the three of them. However, he could see the tension in both of their faces. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does anyone have a jukebox?” He asked. The disks. They had music. That would make them feel better. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy nodded at him, and said something. Tubbo sighed. He’d have to get better at reading lips. Or something. He began to walk up the stairs, and turned to see if they were following him. He reached behind and grabbed both their hands. Just to make sure they were still there, even if he couldn’t hear their footsteps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they emerged from the mountainside, he looked up to see that the sun was just beginning to set. The quiet that had put him at ease only a few hours before now set him on edge. He climbed up the nearby hill with his friends, and sat in the grass with them. Tommy set down the jukebox, and popped a disk in. He then froze and looked at Tubbo. He said something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” He asked. Tommy pulled out his communicator. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>TommyInnit: You can’t hear it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo felt tears well up in his eyes. He forced them back. Tommy had gone through enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right. I can’t hear it.” He said. He sat there for a second, before reaching out toward the jukebox. He set his hand on it, and felt the vibrations. He racked his memory and tried to remember the patterns of the songs he knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Blocks?” He guessed after a while. Tommy and Niki both broke out into smiles. Before he could react, Niki tackled him into a hug. Tommy joined the pile soon after. He felt Niki grab his hand, and guide it to her cheek, where she nodded vigorously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He began laughing and pulled his friends closer to him. However, after the high of guessing correctly had faded, he was once again hit with the reality of the day's events. His happy tears turned to sad ones, and he fell asleep in the forest, holding his friends close as they all cried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy sighed once again, taking another glance toward Tubbo. He was still incredibly bitter toward Techno. It had been a few days, and yet the anger hadn’t faded, just took a backseat to his day to day life. He was the one that murdered Tubbo. He was the one that left him alone and afraid. The image of his best friend realizing he couldn’t hear them was burned behind his eyes, and the scars spreading from his chest all the way out to his extremities was a permanent reminder of the traumatic events of the festival. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And yet Tubbo looked as happy as could be. He was sat criss-cross on the grass, one hand pressed against the jukebox to feel out the music. Mellohi played softly from it, and he was watching the bees fly around with the sun against his back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy tossed his book back and forth in his hands. Tubbo was adjusting wonderfully, the scared expression had faded from his face and he was getting better and better at lip-reading every day. But he wanted to do more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy opened the book. He was going to learn how to sign if it was the last thing he ever did. He took a deep breath, set the book down, and got to work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was about 20 minutes into it when he heard footsteps in the grass. He stopped and looked up to see who was approaching. He tapped Tubbo’s shoulder too, just to let him know someone else was with them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re doing it wrong,” Sapnap said. “It’s like this.” He repeated the sign Tommy was practicing, but slightly different. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You-you know how to sign?” Tommy asked, surprised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He sat down in the grass with them. He reached forward and tapped Tubbo’s knee. Tubbo looked up at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” He said slowly, exaggerating the movements of his lips, and waving. Tommy watched as his friend’s face lit up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello! Hi!” Tubbo responded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard what happened,” Sapnap said, careful with each syllable, and accompanying his words with hand movements. “How are you feeling?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took Tubbo a moment to reply, gears turning in his head. “Better now. It’s a little scary, but I’m adjusting. Tommy has been a huge help, he hasn’t left my side since it happened.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s good.” Sapnap smiled at him, before turning back to Tommy. “Gimme that book, let me see what you’ve learned so far. And, it’s not very useful to him unless he learns it too.” He waved his hand at Tubbo, who abandoned the music box to sit in a circle with them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why should I trust you?” Tommy said, suddenly feeling protective. “You’re on their side.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen man. Some things are bigger than politics.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Yeah. Okay. Thanks for doing this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem,” Sapnap said, and they got to work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy walked with Quackity back to Pogtopia, an immense weight off his shoulders. The relief he felt at getting Wilbur to give up his plan made him overly happy, and he smiled as they walked together through the tunnels. He had made a new ally, pulled a pretty funny prank, and managed to talk down his former leader. He was walking on clouds. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been hesitant to believe Quackity’s story at first, but he saw the anger in his face. The kind of anger he felt toward Techno, the sting of betrayal from someone you thought was in your corner. He felt the exact same way. He couldn’t leave Big Q on his own after that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They entered Pogtopia, where Tubbo was taking a few steaks, and carefully placing them into a furnace. Tommy grabbed a stone and chucked it at the wall to get his attention. Tubbo snapped his head up at the movement, and looked up to greet him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” He said. His face quickly fell when he realized who Tommy was with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Why is he here? </b>
  <span>He signed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>He’s on our side. I’ll explain later. </b>
  <span>Tommy signed back. Beside him, Quackity looked bewildered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys know sign language? And why are you using it? Why don’t you talk normally? And why’d you throw a rock at him?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of questions, Big Q” Tommy said, suddenly serious.  “We don’t know sign language. Not yet. Only the basics.  Because he’s deaf. Can’t hear a thing anymore. The rock was to let him know I’m here.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quackity stopped for a second. “How did this happen?” He asked quietly after a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty sure you know,” Tommy replied, good mood ruined. “You all had ear protection. He didn’t.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I. I thought. Schlatt told me he didn’t need any. He said respawning would fix it all. He told me he’d be fine afterward.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Respawning doesn’t fix everything, Big Q. You know this.” Tommy gestured to Quackity’s left leg, where he still walked with a limp after a bad fall from months prior. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quackity stopped for a few seconds, before looking up at Tubbo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m sorry, Tubbo.” He said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, like this.” Tommy showed him the sign for sorry, and Quackity repeated it toward him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgive you.” Tubbo smiled at him. “Do you want a steak?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Quackity nodded. “A steak would be great.” Tubbo grabbed another steak and stuck it into the furnace, and Tommy and Quackity went to sit by him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, did anything happen while we were gone?” Tommy asked, making sure to talk slow and exaggerated, just like Sapnap taught him to. He supplemented his words with signs wherever he could. It still took Tubbo a few seconds to understand what he was saying, and it wasn’t always accurate, but it worked as a good placeholder until they both were fluent signers. And, the way Tubbo always seemed so happy to not have to depend on the communicator was more than enough to make him go through the extra effort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really. I went outside for a bit, listened to some music, talked to Niki. She’ll be here later tonight.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s good. I’m glad you had fun.” Tommy smiled at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I try talking to him?” Quackity asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, make sure to talk slowly though, and emphasize your facial expressions. It makes it easier for him. Try to make hand gestures when you can as well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Got it,” Quackity said, before tapping Tubbo’s shoulder to get his attention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How have you been holding up? Since the festival?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was really scary at first, but I’m doing a lot better now. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look Schlatt in the eye again, but I’m recovering. I'm doing good. Seriously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad at us? For losing your hearing.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not really. The deaf thing doesn’t really bother me anymore. I was terrified at first, but the quiet is actually quite peaceful. I don’t hold any grudges.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Quackity looked quite taken aback. “The whole event must’ve been traumatizing though!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it was, don’t get me wrong. But, I’m working on it. I’m getting better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s good. I’m proud of you, kid.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you!” Tubbo smiled as Quackity ruffled his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy smiled at the situation. He supposed he should take a leaf out of his Tubbo’s book, and let it go. He wasn’t mad. He was adjusting well. It was time for Tommy to stop being bitter on his friend’s behalf. Things were going to be alright.  </span>
</p><p> </p>
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